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MOM
SAYS, DAD SAYS, NAT SAYS: OTHER
PRESS
RELEASE
For Immediate Release
Click
Here for PDF version of Growing up Bi-Culturally
Contact: Nathalie Ishizuka
Fax: 914-967-5275
Email: contact@internationalbehavior.com
Growing up Bi-culturally: The Art
of Being an "Other"
When Being the Odd Ball Out Leads
to Happiness
From day one, I was labeled, "other."
Singing my ABC's, looking Japanese and asking for a "bonbon,"
it was hard not to notice me. My French mother and Japanese father
told me that it was my terrible singing voice that drew attention,
so being an "other" never went to my head. What did go
directly to my head and heart, was the feeling that I was indeed
different -- what some have coined a 'language bigamist' or as Katherine
Knorr of the International Herald Tribune put it so well, "someone
at home in two places and a stranger in both as well."
After reading her article on growing up bi-culturally, and she certainly
could have written a book on the unkindness of strangers, I have
often thought about what it means to be an "other" to
never entirely fit into one category -- nor to entirely want to.
After all wherever I went, I would continue to introduce myself
as a Franco-Japanese American from New York. And we all know that
these days in the States, most of us would prefer to leave out the
"French." Yet, somehow, not fitting into any one category
made me feel important.
Of course, a lot of people don't always fit in. They may look different,
or they may just feel different. And many times that is a good thing.
According to some studies on bi-racial children there are some benefits
to being an "other." Studies will informatively tell you,
that growing up bi-racially or for that matter bi-culturally can
lead you to be "assertive, emotionally secure, independent
and creative with a positive self-concept," and those who know
me might even confirm this happy outcome.
Sure -- growing up tri-culturally pushed me to think outside the
box (there were at least three sides to each issue), to resist peer
pressure (don't care for drugs), to find your own path in life (you
never fit into one category so you are quick to invent your own),
and to do something that no one else wants to do nor can become
(still not sure whether I am doing the former or the latter). Yet,
I noticed that this was only because I naturally did things to protect
myself when others seemed to sink. Things that could make it more
fun to be a Franco-American, Japanese-American, Hispanic-American,
Arab-American or countless "others" at a time where it
is difficult to be a 'stranger' at home or abroad.
I let these thoughts boil out from inside me, and realized I was
not alone. Biracial children represent a growing segment of the
U.S.'s diverse population. According to the National Center for
Health Statistics (NCHS) between 1978 and 1992, the number of biracial
children born in America increased more than 50% and some recent
census reports even indicate that this number makes up over 7 million,
42% of them being under the age of 18. Add to that mix 1.5 million
mixed-race marriages in the U.S. with that number roughly doubling
each decade. Of course, you don't have to be bi-racial or grow up
tri-culturally to not fit in. People who have traveled, married
a foreigner or lived the life of an ex-pat often feel that they
deal with many similar issues. Even those who brag about being "run
of the mill," have at some point felt like the odd ball out
-- like they didn't completely fit in, nor want to. A feeling of
not being completely understood nor accepted for who they were or
who they wanted to become.
That means that for even the most positive "others' amongst
us, life isn't always perfect. Let me assure you this was certainly
true for me. There were some things that definitely bothered me.
Oh, it was not that I ate like the French (although I can assure
those still boycotting French wine or restaurants
are missing out needlessly), looked Japanese or dreamed big like
an American. It was that I was small in size. Yes, being small made
me feel like an "other." I know this sounds petty, but
I remember every person in my life that called me small. Yes, every
one of you. Of course my mother says that it is cute to be small.
My father says that Napoleon was small. But none of that helped.
Yet, there were things that my French mother's 'savoir vivre' and
my wise Japanese father did that certainly helped me be happy as
an 'other.' Things that my friends wished their Mom had told them,
what most Dads may not have known (my father was a renown Harvard
trained psychiatrist on happiness), and what my own happy go lucky
attitude made easy.
Of course, lest I gloss over the difficulties involved in growing
up bi-culturally, it is true that in addition to all the normal
identity crisis that kids and adults go through there is the additional
challenge of physical appearance (I had spent hours pinching my
nose to make it less flat with little success), language (looking
Japanese did not mean I spoke it fluently), a strange sounding name,
identity, and how one deals with racism from all ethnic groups including
your own -- if you are lucky enough that such a category exists.
Indeed, when I was eight I remember the day when a little American
girl asked me why my last name was Ishizuka. Honestly, I had no
idea. So instead, I asked her, why her last name was Jones. She
too was clueless. And so we became friends. I concluded, that if
someone asks you a question that merits no reply, don't get angry,
get curious. Today I find that still works and only wished that
more French and Americans who have found offense across the Atlantic
as well as 'Arabs' and Americans (should either category be easy
to define) used a similar technique. For as a proud Franco-Japanese
American that now lives in a city where one quarter of the population
under 20 are of Muslim origin, I can assure you that we all have
more that unites us than divides.
Nathalie
Ishizuka is a Franco-Japanese American author and illustrator
of Mom Says, Dad Says, Nat Says: Other who has spent over 15 years
writing about a model of health and happiness. Her innovative interdisciplinary
approach integrating the psychology of individuals, organizations,
and the nation state has lead her to work with people from many
fields and to receive the George A. Plimpton Fellowship for the
study of social, economic, and political institutions.
-30-
Mom Says, Dad Says, Nat Says: Other, illustrated
and written by Nathalie Ishizuka, 60 color pages soft cover, ISBN
1-59113-741-1. $24.95 published by Booklocker 2005, visit www.natsays.com
Click
Here to Buy 'Mom Says, Dad Says, Nat Says : Other'
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